the curious case of benjamen button

I am going to assume that most people have been on a charity date once or twice in thier lives. Saturday was one of those for me. I had spoken to this gentleman a couple of times on the phone, which was ok...but I still wasn't thrilled to dress up and go out with him. There were several things I needed to get done that day, grad school work, planting a garden, cleaning out storage. But I decided to go. We had talked about rollerblading, which I enjoy so if anything...I had talked myself into it for the sole purpose I would get to strap wheels on my feet and glide across cement. How bad could it really be?

I met the gentleman at the park. He was late. I didn't mind as I warmed up and watched children feed ducks at the lake. Suddenly, there he was...and "Oh My!"

This is where Benjamen Button comes in. This gentlamen, my date looked like a 62 year old man trapped in a 14 year old body. (This is a totally mean, impolite, unlady like thing to say), but it's true. I took a deep breath and repeated in my head three times, "Holly, you are a lady and you will be a good sport and talk to him and try to have some fun".

We rollerbladed around the park several times. I think I probably talked the majority of it, because Benjamen Button...was a mute. He wasn't mute on the phone, why was he mute now? Anyway, he did hold the conversation for about ten minutes while telling me all of his rejection stories. Enter guilt. It was this guilt that talked me into agreeing to get a Slurpee from the 7-11 with him. To most an $0.89 Slurpee would be an insult. To me, it was a blessing. I did not want the shame of this guy buying me dinner when I wasn't, "feeling the vibe". What would you do?

We walked back to my car and I said thank you and went in for the side hug. You know, the, thanks for the two hours spent in semi-torture and never intend to repeat it) hug. I think I even patted. The pat is a tell tell sign that, "I'm just not that into you" without actually having to say it. I am personally grateful for the pat.

Seconds away from getting in my car and getting on with life, he stopped me and said, "I brought a little evaluation, it's in my car, would you like me to get it". Freeze! What? Hold On! Hold back laughter.

All I could think to say was, "Don't trouble yourself by getting it, you can just e-mail it to me". He agreed to that. I am still waiting for it, because I can't imagine what kind of questions are on this thing. That was followed by a "thanks, I'll talk to you later" (with the intention of never doing so) and several phone calls on the way home laughing hysterically.

Oh Benjaman Button! You will always be remembered, that's for sure. Next time I will upgrade to the Big Gulp!